I am writing this article in response to the many talking heads on TV, who are attempting to answer the question “why did Travis stay with Jodi?” and the question “what hold did Jodi have over Travis?”
I did not know Travis personally but I can say one thing with total assurance, there are few people in this country who have studied this case as much as I have. I have watched every minute of the trial, read all of the documents that are available to the public and did intensive searches in research databases. I can offer my professional opinion and insights, recognizing the caveat that I have not personally interviewed Travis.
For that reason what I am about to write is based upon sound psychological theory that would apply to all people. What’s it about? In a word, sex. The recognized father of psychology is of course Sigmund Freud. I know for some of you, your first thoughts will be “that’s old, outdated stuff.” But that really isn’t true.
Many of you have heard more psychological opinion and analysis, during this trial, than you ever thought you would and certainly more than you ever wanted to. From the endless string of “experts” you have heard phrases coming from their lips such as defense mechanism, unconscious mind, ego. These are all Freudian ideas. No one before Freud had ever used the words or the concepts for, defense mechanisms unconscious mind, id, ego, superego.
Freudian psychology remains the basis of psychiatry. Psychiatrists are medical doctors and Freud was also a medical doctor. Freudian psychology is certainly not old-fashioned and outdated. That being said, I disagree with many Freudian points and Freud is not my favorite theorist. Nonetheless, modern psychology is based on Freudian thought.
Okay, so now I’m guilty of telling you more about Freud than you ever wanted to know but I needed to establish that base so that we could analyze the relationship of Jodi and Travis. Freud said there are only two human drives. The smaller one, not too important, Thanatos. The other was the big one and that is libido or the sex drive.
Travis was a Mormon and Mormons are not supposed to have premarital sex. Most religions discourage premarital sex. Travis was not only a Mormon but he lived in a Mormon community and he dated Mormons. His sexual experience was limited. If he did not always limit it, due to his faith, then perhaps his female partner would.
Now that’s enough about Travis and his Mormon faith. Let’s look at the psychosexual development of the typical male. I am not going to bash men here. And no “men are not all dogs.” Men are not ruled by the little head. I am a female and it always amazes me when a group of females get together, do a little man bashing, and then claim “all men are dogs and all they want is sex.” Now their proclamation sure sounds pretty condemning concerning men. I find it very revealing, and a little funny, that the same male bashing females are goal directed to acquire their own personal “dog.” I think “If they’re so bad why get one?”
Travis, like every other man, had to learn about his sexuality. Was he desirable? Could he satisfy a woman? Would a woman find him sexually attractive? Would a woman laugh at his genitalia or gaze with admiration? He didn’t know and wouldn’t know the answers to those questions until he had sexual partners. Would he be a sexual disappointment or God’s gift to women?
Women have the same kind of fears and doubts. You know what they are. I’m not going to take the time to list them.
In the American culture, we don’t talk about sex much. We giggle, we laugh, but we aren’t too honest about sex.
We know something about Jodi’s and Travis’s sex life because we have the long sex tape that Jodi secretly recorded. She claims of course that Travis knew that it was being recorded and that he had requested her recording it but nothing in that tape indicates to me that Travis was aware that it was being recorded.
In that sex tape Jodi did her deceptive best to feed Travis’s ego. What feedback did she give him about his being a lover? He was the best. No one else even came close. He did things to her and made her feel things that no one else had ever done. His “equipment” touched magic places within her.
If we look at more than just the sex tape and look at their text messages and emails, we can gather even more insight into the feedback that Jodi was giving to Travis. She loved sex but only with Travis. She wanted to try everything sexual with Travis. She craved him sexually.
In one message, she asked him that “if she was a good girl… (and I am going to clean this up here) would he reward her by depositing copious amounts of seminal fluid to the dermatological surface area that lies between her bangs and the bottom of her chin?”
Yep, that’s how hot Travis was. Jodi didn’t need an orgasm, she didn’t need foreplay she just got off on Travis. Now we know that wasn’t true but the truth and Jodi Arias are seldom seen together. She was manipulating him. She was deceiving him. And most certainly she was confusing him.
Travis was not a “dog.” He was just like most people. He was filled with doubt about his sexuality. Inexperienced men and women are almost all in exactly the same boat. Jodi fed his ego with lies but Travis, due to his inexperience, had no idea that they were lies. And most importantly, who does not want to have their ego fed accolades and flattery’s?
Though it is not healthy, most people try to find out who they are by trying to see how they are perceived by other people. For most people, when flattery and complements come their way, it makes them feel good, very good. It gives them confidence and positive feelings, if in only one part of their lives. Jodi used her sexual cunning to exercise power over Travis. With more experience on the part of Travis, Jodi’s power would have been diminished or eliminated.
I am not suggesting that their relationship was only sexual but what I am saying is that the foundation of their relationship, after their initial breakup, was based on sexuality.
Was Travis using Jodi as the defense contended? No, Jodi was using Travis as the prosecution contended. Did Travis think that he was using Jodi? No absolutely not. From his perspective, based on the words that flowed from her mouth, she loved having sex with him. She was ecstatic at the prospects of any sexual encounter with him. Read the emails and listen to the sex tape, for full confirmation.
Travis was a member of the Church of Latter Day Saints and that makes him a Mormon. There is an interesting article in Psychology Today, written by a female sociopath who is also a law professor. Remember from my earlier articles, sociopath = psychopath= antisocial personality disorder. You will also remember that I firmly believe the best diagnosis for Jodi Arias is antisocial personality disorder (sociopath, psychopath), not borderline.
In the article, written by the confessed sociopath, she makes a very interesting observation. I will quote it here for you. “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a sociopath’s dream.”
If you want a full explanation of the meaning of that quotation, please read her article. In essence, what she is saying is that Mormons are easily conned, manipulated and deceived basically because they are trusting and look for the best in other people. They think there is good within each person and that each person can be helped to bring that good out.
Travis’s sexual inexperience coupled with his true helping Mormon nature, made him the perfect prey for Ms. Arias, the psychopathic murderer.
PS. Please do read the article that I have referenced above. Listen to the words in the description of the self confessed sociopath (psychopath) who wrote the article. Let me know if she doesn’t sound very much like Jodi Arias.